As he sat in his dorm room on the campus of Johns Hopkins University, he stared into the mirror over the sink. He studied his own face carefully. His eyes, his nose… hell, even his lips, and what he saw both satisfied and horrified him. Dear GOD, WHY?!, he asked. Why must I look so much like my father? Why can’t I look like my mother? What did I do in my life to have to grow up to resemble David Draiman? Not that my father is ugly, mind you. He’s a great man. He’s a wonderful father. He’s worked miracles raising ten children. But, why do I have to look like him? Why not any of my younger brothers? He sighed. FUCK IT! I’m a good looking guy! I’m beating the women off left and right, much like my father used to have to do until he met my mother. Now, she beats them off for him. All she has to do is flash that monster on her left hand and the bitches back off. He nodded his conviction. Yeah, it’s not that bad looking like my Dad. He barely looks a day over 30 and he’s twice that now. And he’s still as active sexually as he was the day he lost his virginity, I swear. I’m 23 fucking years old. I’m in my PRIME now. He looked at himself in confusion. What am I going on about? Fuck, Jacob Micah, get a hold of yourself. This is no time to be worrying about females. You’re about to graduate from medical school. Scratch that, I’m about to graduate from medical school. I really need to stop thinking so much. My mind’s going to explode. He laughed out loud. “I’m such a retard. My mind can’t explode. It’s physiologically impossible; as unlikely as spontaneous human combustion.”
There was a knock on his door. “Jake, open this damn door before I kick it in”, his older brother Malachai shouted.
Jacob laughed. “Hold on, jack ass. I’m on my way.” He knew better than to say he was coming because someone in his family would turn it into sexual innuendo.
He pulled the door open to see his family. “Well, hello there, Dr. Draiman”, Malachai said with a laugh.
Jake shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Fuck you, ass hole”, he said with a smile and hugged his brother. The rest of his siblings flooded into the tiny dorm room and made sure to give him a hug as they passed.
He looked at the doorway at the faces of his parents. His mother was beautiful, even at 57. He father, on the other hand was like looking into a mirror and seeing what he was going to look like at 60. “Are you going to invite us in, Jacob Micah?” his father asked.
Jake stepped out of the way and let his parents in. “Won’t you come in?”
His mother stepped through the threshold first. She took him into her embrace. “Congratulations, Jacob. You’ll have to forgive your father. He’s a little cranky right now.”
“You’d be cranky too if our daughter in law had tried to pawn our grandchildren off on YOU so that she could get ready to come up here”, his father said as he walked through the door.
“Mandy try to get you to watch Miranda, Isaiah and Eli again?” Jake asked.
“More like she just knocked on the hotel room door and shoved them through it then ran back down the hall to her and your brother’s room.”
“In Mandy’s defense”, Malachai interrupted, “I wasn’t in the room. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”
“You’re damn right it is, Malachai Aaron.”
“What more do you want from me, Dad? I’m sorry, FUCK!”
“Watch your mouth when you speak to me, Malachai. You might be 28 years old, but I’ll still knock your teeth down your throat.”
And, cue the screaming match, Jake thought to himself with a sigh, and said screaming match commenced.
His mother was quick to intervene. “ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU!” she shouted over the men. “This is Jacob’s day. He’s about to graduate from med school. If I hear so much as a peep from either of you the rest of the day about that and I swear to GOD, I’m going to kick BOTH of your asses. David, honey, I love you and you know that, but you need to calm the hell down. Malachai, you’re my son and I love you, but YOU need to stop running off at the whims of your fans to sign autographs and help your wife a little more than you do. Now, apologize to each other and to Jacob for taking the focus of this day off of him.”
Jake watched his father’s demeanor instantly change. “I apologize, Jake. Your mother’s right. I need to calm down. Today is about you, not me.”
Jake laughed. “We’re cool, Dad. Apology accepted.”
“I’m sorry too, Jake. I’m being an inconsiderate ass”, Malachai said.
Jake did a face palm. “You do that a LOT you know that, ‘Chai?”
“What do I do a lot?”
“Act like an inconsiderate ass. When haven’t I forgiven you for being you, Malachai? I know you don’t mean anything by it. It’s just a family trait.”
“Can being an inconsiderate ass be passed down through genetics?” Maddie chimed in.
Jake did another face palm and laughed. The sound alarmed both of his parents. He sounded just like his father. “You guys go find your seats, please. I need to finish getting ready and go join the procession.”
---------------
Jacob stood at the head of the line. He was graduating Valedictorian. He’d also achieved what many said was impossible. He finished his entire degree in five years after graduating from high school. He’d been asked if he wanted to speak and opted out. He just wanted to get the piece of paper that stated that he was in fact a doctor and then go home. He was going to take a short sabbatical so that he could sort through all post grad job offers he’d been getting. There were so many hospitals that wanted to boast having the son of the voice of the resistance at their chief attending in neurology.
He led the class out into the massive auditorium that would hold this graduating class and all the guests. The class wasn’t really all that big. Maybe two hundred people. He was the only graduate from the school of neurology.
He took his seat and waited as everyone else did the same. After all of the formalities were taken care of, the ceremony commenced. A young man Jacob had become rather close to, a boy named Levi Rossman, took the speech that was supposed to be Jacob’s. But, he didn’t want it. He was happy to be who he was and where he was. He didn’t want any other special accolades. He just wanted to graduate and take a vacation.
The Dean of Medicine stood and started handing out the degrees. “Graduating Valedictorian and Suma cum Laude, Dr. Jacob Micah Draiman.” Jacob rose from his seat and walked to the stage with the loud cries of his brothers and sisters. He knew that his parents would show more decorum. He accepted the degree and shook hands with the Dean. Afterward, he returned to his seat as he watched his parents admonish his siblings.
After the traditional throwing of the caps, Jacob went looking for his family. He laughed when his legs nearly got knocked out from under him by his niece. “Way to go, Uncle Jake!” Miranda squeaked.
He laughed harder. “Thanks, Miri.”
“NO. My name isn’t Miri or ‘Randa, it’s Miranda. I don’t like those stupit nicknames.”
“And that’s why we use them, Miranda. Because they’re cute, you’re cute, and we like to mess with you.”
---------------
As Jacob conversed with his family, another young man ran up behind him and shouted, “BOO!” in his ear.
Jacob whirled. “Levi, you just damn near got your head taken off.”
“Sorry, Jake. Just had to mess with you a little bit.” He looked at Jacob’s father, then whispered to Jake. “Is that your father, Dr. Draiman?”
“Yes, Dr. Rossman”, Jacob chuckled.
“If he had the piercings under his lip, he’d look just like…”
David cut the young man off. “That would be because I am. I don’t wear those hooks under my chin all the time.” He looked Jacob. “Do they not know that I’m your father?”
“I tell everyone, Dad. No one wants to believe me OR that the great David Draiman has ten kids.”
Levi looked at the young woman with her lip pierced and hoops all the way up the exposed ear. On her shoulder was a familiar symbol. “Ok, Jake, if your father is David Draiman, then your sister is Jordan Draiman of Reckless Disregard and your brother is Malachai Draiman; same band.”
Jordan and Malachai turned upon hearing their names. “Who’s the joker, Jake?” Malachai asked.
“Malachai, Jordan; this is Dr. Levi Rossman from the school of cardiology. Levi; my older brother Malachai and my twin sister Jordan.”
Levi looked back and forth between Jacob and Jordan. “Are you kidding me? You two look nothing alike.”
Jake reached out and smacked Levi upside the back of his head. “We’re fraternal, jack ass!” He looked at his family. “Can we leave now? I’d like to eat and then go home if that would be ok.”
“Go home as in back to Colorado, Jacob?” Brie asked her son.
“Yeah, if you and Dad will have me there.”
“You’re our son, Jacob. Of course we’ll have you there.”
---------------
Jake knew of an excellent steak house in town that his colleagues and he went to on a regular basis to eat after a long shift at the hospital. He usually made them pay because he tried to play broke. Usually he had up to a thousand dollars in his wallet at all times but he wasn’t telling any of them that. He wasn’t the typical broke med student seeing as he was the first blood son of the Voice of the Resistance during the Utopian Occupation and internationally known rock star David Draiman of Disturbed. “Now that all of my school mates know that I’m your kid, I’m sure they’re all going to call and tell me, ‘Hey, you owe me $250 for all the food I bought you.’”, he told his parents with a laugh.
“Did you play broke?” David asked his son.
“No one wanted to believe me, so I played it up. ‘Dude, can you spot me this one? My wallet’s collecting dust bunnies.’ And I always walk around with an upwards of a grand on my person at all times.”
“And they bought it?” Brie asked with a laugh.
“Until today. I’m going to have to change my cell number when we get home tomorrow”, he laughed in return.
“So, Jake, why were you the only graduate from the school of neurology?” Jordan asked her twin.
“Because I was the only one that stuck it out through the tough ass Dr. Goodman. He likes me because I challenged him and made him think outside the box like he always did us.”
“So you made him use him brain?” Maddie said, thinking she was making a joke.
“Ha, ha, Maddie. Not funny. That was actually pretty lame.”
“Sorry.”
“Jake, when we get home, can you help me on a project for my science class?” Meagan asked.
“What’s the project?”
“I want to show what the brain looks like when affected with different conditions.”
“Such as?”
“You’re the neurologist, Jake”, Makayla said. “Don’t you know every neurological condition known to man?” All Jake could do was laugh.
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